What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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