Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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