So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
