Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
