You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
