proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
only if we run a train.
done.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
