Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
