The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize