The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My vagina is very pro this idea
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
