brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
