Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
