I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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