She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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