Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He passed out mid-signature
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
