Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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