those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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