who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
