I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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