i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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