If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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