So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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