Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
