So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
