omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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