I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
