Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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