were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
