we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize
