google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
