You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
