At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
