He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
