In the future we'll all be gay
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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