You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
