So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
