i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
honey bunches of taint.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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