Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
