When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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