I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
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