I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
