So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
