What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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