We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
