Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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