I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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