she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
