After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
