New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
