So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
