Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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