I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Dick very happy bro
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