I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
