I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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