I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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