Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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