eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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