I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
