How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
