My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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