So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
