marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
