party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
