Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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