soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
