Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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