Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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