fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize