And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
